Enjoy the little things

I’ve been writing and rewriting this trying to get the right impression. So many years now I feel like I’ve been going forward. Then, all of a sudden, I feel halted. Stuck with nowhere to go, and it all started with the feeling like everything was over.

Ive been gone. Across the ocean blue. Not here, but there, and everywhere else. I’m  searching for what makes me feel alive—for what makes me feel fulfilled. “Grass grows where you water it,” they say, and this journey has been about finding my water.

Now that I’ve returned, I get these feelings like it’s over. I feel pangs of depression because this was my starting line. From here, I left to challenge myself against the world. To see my visions and dreams align, I needed to escape this place. It’s not as though I hated it here, I just had stopped evolving, and the horizon meant new worlds and new beginnings. Everything was right there if I’d only take a step.

I always knew it. I still do.

Full circle, 5 years later, poof, and I’m back. I still don’t feel all here, though. It doesn’t feel real. My head is in the clouds. My mind constantly drifts amongst the 1000 lives I’ve lived. My heart can’t make sense of my new reality.   

Which leads me to my dilemma.

It’s time to tune in. Time to be present, to make a life out of what’s right in front of me. I’ve been too detached, and longing for what my old life. It’s not a way to live. This is my life too, and there is so much here to live…now.

Sorry, if I’ve seemed a little distant, a little reserved and off-putting. This all feels brand-new to me again, but I’m trying to adjust. The big picture is always there, but the little things are what makes our days meaningful. Slowly, I’m relearning what that means when you’re in-between what you want and where you’re going.

If you see me around town, I hope I’m smiling more and enjoying the moment. And if not, remind me because life is too short to frown all the time and not enjoy today’s sunshine :)