Rebuild, Again: Tennessee

The time comes in one’s life when they have to look in the mirror and decide what’s next. There’s always another step, whether it’s forward or back, there it is. Most people talk about this kind of movement, but what goes unnoticed is the one where you take neither, where you check the ground you stand on, and go back through old lessons. It’s like a stop motion. You halt progress to retool and rebuild. You recharge and redesign. Storing energy, fuel, and energy need to be replenished. A full review must to be documented so your new efforts push you forward rather than sending you back.

This has been one of the most challenging times of my life. I walked and traveled across thousands of miles of foreign miles just to come home on the back of my shield crumbled, and shattered. I gave it my all, maybe too much, but here I lay amongst the ruin to figure it out all over again. Thanks to my TN family for holding it all together when I could not.

I wrote once that out of the ashes, the Phoenix will rise. Burning away the old makes way for the new. I’ve had so much time to think, so much time to absorb my own self back into my soul. To find what really moves me, and what will move me again, has all been a beautiful, yet strange thing. I wouldn’t have picked this way to remind myself of old lessons, but I guess you don’t pick the lessons, you only choose to learn from them.

When my brain finally dreams past the fog, when my hands can feel the electricity once again, I feel this story is far from over, and I’m not even halfway yet. I take a deep breath before the ultimate plunge, and I vow to finish my story before the curtain call. Just give me one more chance to prove it all again.

One more deep sleep before the hibernation, and when I awaken, the dream won’t be over, it will have just begun.